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How To Get Over a Break Up

Here are six secrets to help you get your life together and move on!

1.   Bond with other Singles.
At any given time, you probably have a mix of friends in loving relationships as well as those searching for love. Don’t be afraid to look-up single friends you haven’t seen or spoken to in awhile and make plans for Friday and Saturday night. You’ll stay busy on the weekend and maybe even rekindle an old friendship, but don’t jump into a new love relationship too quickly though.

2.   Start a Social Hobby.
If there is a hobby or activity you have been meaning to try for the first time, or take-up again, this is your chance. Focus on activities that allow you to meet new and interesting people. Examples might include a cooking class, sports league, or bridge club.

3.   Go Easy on the Next Person you Meet.
Beware of continuing unfinished business with the next person you meet. If you didn’t have a chance to truly close the door on your last relationship, don’t project your open issues on the next unsuspecting soul. See the new person as a clean slate and allow the relationship to unfold with no connections to your past.

4.   Don’t Sling Shot your Ex.
It can be very tempting, particularly on lonely nights, to look up your ex or accept an invitation from your ex for a rekindle. The more you fall back on your old ways, the harder it will be to truly move on. Don’t fall for the short term satisfaction of a night out or easy hook-up at the expense of stirring up all the hurt from the breakup.

5.   Apply What You’ve Learned.
Take out a journal and write down everything that went well versus what could have been better in your relationship. Be honest since you’re the only one looking at the entry. What could you do better next time? What positive traits did your ex possess that you should look for in the next relationship, or maybe even incorporate into your own style?

6.   Talk About Something Else.
Everyone goes through a period of venting to their friends and family about what went wrong and how your ex deserves to go straight to prison. It’s okay to do a little venting, but spare your inner circle from an endless tirade for months at a time. Commit to yourself that the next time you call a close friend, you’ll focus exclusively on them. This will help you get out of your head for awhile and start feeling normal again.

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Pure Romance

Focus on pure romance to rekindle the love you felt at the beginning of the relationship:

Plan Ahead
Make sure you and your partner are free the night of the intimate evening and stress is limited. If one of you has a big presentation the next day, choose an alternative evening.

Make Plans for the Children
If you have children, arrange for a babysitter, sleepover party elsewhere, or put the kids to bed early. An intimate evening should be between you and your partner, save the family events for another day.

Focus on Favorites
Think about your partner’s personal preferences. If he or she has a favorite food, cook it. If your partner likes to see you in a particular outfit, wear it. If your partner prefers a particular room in the house, spend the evening there.

Create an Ambiance
Music and candles can work wonders to transform an everyday living quarter into a romantic hot spot. Choose gentle music that softens the spirit and eases tension. Consider candles that emanate your partner’s favorite flavor or scent.

Utilize Surprises
You don’t have to blow the budget and surprise your partner with a cruise around the world. Instead, think about simple pleasures, maybe tickets to a concert, or a gift certificate to a favorite store. Deliver the gift creatively, perhaps on an entree platter as part of the meal.

Take it Slow
Life can move pretty fast, but this is the one night to slow things down and enjoy each other’s company. Hold hands, kiss playfully, dance to your favorite number; anything that brings back the memories of why you love each other.

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Sharing Hobbies

Want your partner to be close to you? Consider sharing hobbies. Appreciate each others’ passions and interests and your partner will stay close to you.

Just because people love each other, it doesn’t mean they have the same hobbies. Couples can either accept this hobby standoff as normal or they can work to appreciate what the other finds interesting.

Suppose the man loves cooking and the woman is an avid tennis player. Here’s three things each partner could do to go out of his/her way to show that the others’ activities have meaning:

What He Can Do

1. Offer to sign-up together for doubles tennis lessons and spend quality time improving your forehand, serving, and volley.

2. Surprise her with tickets to a professional tennis match.

3. Buy her a gift certificate to a local tennis shop or surprise her with a new outfit or racket.

What She Can Do

1. Offer to help with food preparation. Nothing says I love you like agreeing to chop broccoli or mince meat.

2. Give him a night off and offer to do all the cooking; maybe even try cooking one of his favorite recipes.

3. Attend a cooking class together to jointly experience his passion.

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Easy Flirting Tips

10 Quick and easy flirting tips for Men and Women!

For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk. For men, the secret is in showcasing your masculinity. (And no, that doesn’t mean adjusting yourself or proving once and for all that you are the Belching King.)

1) Lock Eyes
Lock eyes with the person you’re flirting with for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don’t stare a hole through the guy’s forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it’s them you’re flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness.

2) Smile
Smiling is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox. Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile. Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile, just your normal “I’m having a great time and I’m happy to be here” face will do the trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood, “the smile is the international signal of friendliness.” Guys, if you lock eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an evening, you have received a clear signal that she’s interested. Make your move, head on over and start up a conversation. If you don’t, somebody else will.

3) Be a Vampire’s Best Friend
One of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the exposure of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side, the classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder glance – the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder move is extra-effective because it’s sexy and it sends a signal to your target that they are worth a second look.

4) Preen Like A Peacock
We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we’re attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your hair to one side. This classic move is a double whammy that combines preening and a flash of neck. Need we say more?

5) Lip Service
Both men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of it? For women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown to increase a man’s heart rate), which not only gives your lips that youthful color, but also makes your smile more visible and your teeth whiter. A super-shiny lip gloss can also give you an advantage, making your lips look moist and kissable. For both men and women, try licking your lips (subtlety is key here, you don’t want to look like you’re trying out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip – both are extremely effective flirting behaviors.

6) Cross Your Legs (Women)
Crossing and uncrossing your legs is another surefire flirting technique, especially if you’re wearing high heels. The act of crossing your legs is quite seductive to men, and it makes them desire to see more. Another key seduction trick is slipping your heel out of your shoe and dangling it on your toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a woman’s curves, and sends a man’s heart racing.

7) Square Your Shoulders(Men)
Women are biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims of the “nice guy” badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should “try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing,” hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.

8) Let Your Feet Do The Talking
According to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a “safe”(read approachable) target. Wood says “to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. ”
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.

9) Be a Mimic
People mirror each other’s body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target’s behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone’s behavior, they’ll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and “in tune.”

10) Focus,Focus, Focus.
Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt-signal you’re listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are crucial here – it’s the quickest, easiest way to put another person at ease and make a connection. Finally, another effective flirting technique is low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow.

How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for the signs above, especially extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.

How to tell if a guy is flirting with you? Again, the signs above are fantastic indicators,but men tend to take things a little further by demonstrating their social status with moves that can include, flashing cash and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.

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Tips for Interfaith Couples

These five questions will help an interfaith couple dig deeper into the issues and conflicts that may arise from each partner’s religious and spiritual beliefs.

1. What do we each personally believe from a religious standpoint and which aspects are we willing to compromise?

2. Which holidays do we feel strongly about celebrating each year?

3. How will we handle questions and pressure that may arise from our respective families and their current traditions and customs?

4. Are either of us willing to convert to maintain a family following just one religion?

5. If we decide to have children, how will we raise them in terms of religion and spirituality?

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