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How To Maintain Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships can be trying. Your loved one is far away. You don’t know what they’re doing, or who they’re meeting. If you’re in a long distance relationship, these tips may help you maintain your long distance relationship:

1.   Establish some ground rules.
Get everything in the open, so no one feels they’re sneaking around. Talk about whether you can see other people romantically, how often you’d like to speak to each other, and if there are special occasions where the two of you must see each other in person.

2.   Snail mail is an inexpensive way to stay in touch.
The recipient can keep the letter and read it any time they need a burst of love. Of course, you can send more than letters. You could send a taped message, a CD that alternates between your message and some favorite songs, or even a blank jigsaw puzzle that you write on and send a few pieces at a time.

3.   Arrange to watch a TV program together.
That way, you can experience the enjoyment simultaneously, even though you’re miles apart.

4.   Don’t fight over small problems.
Because you can’t talk as often as you like, everything becomes magnified. Therefore, make a decision that you won’t fight over small problems. All couples fight some of the time, but when you are in an LDR, save the fighting for the really important issues.

5.   Accept uncertainty.
When you do see each other again, things might seem initially tense. You may wonder, “Do I still love him?” or “Is this relationship still worthwhile?” Those thoughts are normal. They’ll pass. And if they don’t, you should consider breaking-up.

6.   If there are problems, tell them.
If you see the relationship breaking apart, don’t keep it from the other person. Tell them. Don’t leave that kind of message on an answering machine or throw it in an email. Get the other person on the phone. They deserve it.

7.   Plan a surprise trip.
At times, phone and email won’t cut it. The best thing to do is see your loved one in person. Check out Site59 for last minute travel deals.

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Learn to Enjoy Dating

Most people have misconceptions about what it takes to love dating. They think they should wait for someone perfect or only ask out those people who have shown interest in them. Those beliefs guarantee a lot of lonely nights. It’s more productive – and far more fun – if you take a proactive, rapid-fire approach to dating. You may find Mr. or Mrs. Right quicker than you think.

Here are three rapid-fire strategies that will help you find a date.

Meet More People and Find That Special Someone

1. Desensitize yourself to rejection.
You’ll never find someone until you realize that, at times, you’re going to be rejected. Get over it. Dr. Albert Ellis did.

As a young man, Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Therapy, was terrified of speaking to women. As a form of treatment, he gave himself the following assignment: He would go to the botanical gardens, sit on benches next to 100 different women, and talk to each for one minute. The results?

Ellis had to sit next to 130 women, because thirty fled immediately. Of the hundred who stayed, he completed his assignment by talking to each. He even asked many out. Only one accepted, and, as Ellis says, “she didn’t even show up for it!” Was he upset by his ineptness? Not on your life.

By seeing that the consequences weren’t life-threatening, he got over his fear of being rejected by women, and became a prodigious dater. Later, he became a prominent relationship therapist, and helped usher in the 1960s sexual revolution with his bestseller, Sex Without Guilt.

If you have any rejection fears, take a cue from Ellis and conduct your own assignment. Sit next to prospective dates and ask them out. You don’t need a sampling of 100 people, but pick some number before you begin: say, five, ten, or even twenty. Then, make small talk with each. If things seem to be going well, ask them out. If they accept, great. If they stonewall you, great, too. You’re learning that being rejected isn’t embarrassing or demoralizing unless you believe it to be. After awhile, you’ll see that the sky isn’t falling on you. You may even get a date or two or three or four.

But to do that, you need to make meeting new people your primary goal.

2. Make meeting new people your goal.
A few years back, I wanted a steady girlfriend, but I didn’t know any definitive method for finding one. So I came up with a strategy I thought would work, The Rapid-Fire Approach to Dating.

For instance, if a friend at lunch casually mentioned a woman in his office, I would instantly ask about her: Was she single? Was she my age? Was she a good person? If she passed those simple tests, I’d ask him to introduce us.

By keeping my goal of finding a girlfriend top of mind, opportunities to meet women showed up frequently. And I took them. During that time, I went on dates with 78 women. Why did I stop? The 78th date was with Carol, who became my wife.

How can you use this strategy? Make a list of every family member, friend, and relative, and find a reason to contact them or get-together. During the conversation, mention that you’re looking to meet someone new. You’ll be amazed how often they’ll say, “I have just the person for you.”

That is exactly the way to end up on several blind dates and be on your way to finding someone special.

3. Go on many blind dates.
Many people see blind dates as a sign of desperation. But blind dating is an effective tactic that gets results. Let other people think they’re too good for blind dates, let them stay home in front of the TV mindlessly surfing TiVo. If you start to view blind dates as a nice evening out, a drink, a bite to eat, and some interesting conversation, your attitude towards blind dates will change dramatically. The more people you meet, the better the chance one of them will spark your interest and develop into a relationship.

By following these three strategies you’ll be on your way to meeting that special someone. And isn’t that what dating is all about?

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Best Pickup Line

Pickup lines are often viewed as cliche, pathetic attempts to pick up a lady in a bar or cafe. Many women have heard all the lines before and when a common line is sent their way it may actually lower their impression of you.

However, there is one line that never fails and this is your chance to learn it, try it, and become one of the few who actually succeeds in meeting new people through pickup lines.

The Situation
You walk into a bar and see two attractive women sitting at a table. You want to meet one, or both of them.

The Caveat
Before you approach the table, make one observation. Do the women look like they are at the bar to meet people? Do they look ready to flirt? The best way to tell is whether the women are facing each other, engrossed in conversation, or sitting on the same side of the table, facing out to the crowd. If the women are on the same side, facing the crowd, in all likelihood, they are at the bar to see and be seen.

The Line
Let’s assume there are no other empty chairs at their table. Walk up to them with an extra chair in your hand and put it down beside them. Point to it and say simply, “Pardon me ladies, is this seat taken?”

The Result
Nine times out of ten the women will be so impressed with your line they will ask you to join them. Even if they’re not impressed, the beauty of the line is that there is no possible way for the women to say the chair is taken. Why? Because you brought the chair with you!

Good Luck! I bet you’ll find yourself seated with new and interesting people all the time.

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Flirting Tip

Flirting Approaches

You have to find the right spot to flirt. A popular flirting spot is the local bar. Even a bar, though, has unstated rules: If you sit at the bar, you’re open for flirting. However, if you sit at a table, you’re more reserved. The further the table is from the bar, the more you want to be left alone.

A related rule: The more an establishment is a food-serving establishment, the less open people are to flirting. Food creates a more formal atmosphere.

Hot-beds of Flirting
One of the reasons the “learning-places” (schools, colleges, and so forth) are such “hot-beds of flirting” is because the students don’t “have to struggle to find topics of mutual interest.” If you’re in a Soviet history class, it’s easy to flirt under the guise of discussing the Bolsheviks.

Workplaces have more stringent rules about flirting. Often, flirting is restricted to particular areas, such as near the coffee machine or water cooler. If you’re uncertain as to where it’s acceptable, take your cue from “the highest regarded individuals in the company.” Watch their behavior and flirt where they flirt.

Flirting is usually acceptable in sports settings: at the gym, the tennis court, the golf course, and so forth. Be careful about who you flirt with in this setting. If someone is a serious competitor, they’re there to train and are less likely to flirt. You’re more likely to win the admiration of weekend athletes – people who are there to get in shape and have fun.

Battle of the Sexes
Because “men tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women,” they “have a tendency to mistake friendly behavior for sexual flirting.” Therefore, women need to be careful about how their actions are being interpreted by men. Also, men need to be aware of their natural tendency to distort.

Flirting Your Way to a Date
Try finding someone roughly as attractive as you. That way, there’s a better chance you’ll stay together. A few things to keep in mind, though: women tend to underestimate their looks, while men tend to overestimate their looks, because there are “less rigid” rules for men’s beauty. The thing to take away: Women, flirt with men who you think look better than you. Men, bolster your flirting skills; you’ll need it.

Are good looks all there is to flirting? Of course not. It just gives you a strong leg up. Beyond good looks, confidence and charm can outweigh physical disadvantages.

Flirting Steps
The first step in flirting isn’t about you. It’s showing the other person you’re attracted to them. Think about it from your own experience. When you were told a particular person liked you, didn’t your impression of that person grow as well?

Flirting is all about language. But here’s the catch: your spoken language isn’t nearly as important as your body language. One study separates out the factors this way: People’s “initial impression of you is based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say.”

What are some ways to flirt using your body?

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15 Fun Places To Meet Someone New to Date

fun places to meet new people

15 Fun Places To Meet Someone New to Date

Struggling to meet new people? Here’s a list of 15 things you could do starting today to begin the path to finding someone new:

1. Volunteer at a local hospital or soup kitchen
2. Sip on Lattes at Starbucks
3. Wander the aisles at Barnes & Noble
4. Join a club or organization
5. Take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try (i.e., pottery, bowling, photography)
6. Sign up for an adult education class or one-day workshop
7. Roam the shopping mall
8. Visit your local laundromat
9. Browse the aisles of your local health food store or grocery store
10. Take in the art at a museum
11. Roam around the zoo
12. Enjoy an outdoor concert
13. Join an online chat room
14. Keep fit at a health club or sporting facility
15. Attend a conference, convention, or lecture on a cultural topic

Good luck!